Hello Soccer mom, welcome to Psych Central.

I'm sorry to hear of your Mom's passing, grief is very hard, please be gentle with you.

It sounds like for the first time you have someone (your T) who is showing you true caring and that can feel really scary especially if you have not had that before or if you have been hurt badly in the past.

Therapy is a very powerful thing and it really is to help you with your feelings and emotions, hang in there with it, try not to run. If you have never been able to cry that is a huge thing. That means you have never had that release that you need.

Here is an article on the challenges of psychotherapy. It's worth doing. 7 Challenges of Psychotherapy | World of Psychology

Also, check out our Psychotherapy and do a search on attachment, you will find you are not alone in your feelings.