Welcome to PC. you can find a lot of support here.

I have found that fake it till you make it only works for so long. Hopefully long enough for you to come out of it. At some point it is just to exhausting. I think one of the worse things we deal with is peoples expectations that we will be better. You are right you have not control over all the depression and anxiety. All we can do is get help for it. Lots of help and support. It is great your husband supports you but as you understand it is very difficult for him too. We need lots of support outside of family from people who truly understand.

I am not one who believes going off meds when they are working is a good idea. If something is working stick with it IMO.