Hi Ozzie . Sorry You are having this rough time. I have been on both sides and I am still learning. I have found when I am free to be me and I allow my BF free to be himself love is really strong between us. Respect is big too. Exploring who you are is awesome. You have your job to live your life as best you can. It is his job to live his. That being said bringing the best of those two lives together make a powerful union. Is he retired and now lonely? Do you spend enough quality together time? We started to slip in that we never sat and coddled watching TV anymore. We both started to get short tempered and cranky. When we changed that we were like new lovers again. When I don't keep myself busy with my interests I get whiny and I recognise now that most of the time it is nothing to do with my partner. If he is there and loving and supportive we are spending quality time then I have to look at what I am doing or not doing. Make dates. It works and its so much fun looking forward to them.