What has also been so challenging to me is that I suffered all this loss right in the middle of my season, as my business is seasonal. I have that reminder, but what has also been a pattern every year is that much of the legal challenges have also hit me at that same time instead of during the months that I can get triggered and crash and I don't have the challenge of trying to run my business at the same time. So, I have been reliving it every business season ever since it happened 7 years ago. Last year was so bad my earnings dropped over $7,000 from the previous year and every years since suffering all that loss has been less and less productive for me, the PTSD along with the ongoing legal challenges and ongoing neighbor problems even with a lawsuit taking place has greatly damaged my ability to be productive. I never get "time off", I have had to go out there and take care of them all even when I am very sick and need to be in bed. I simply do not earn enough to pay for help like I used to so I could catch a break.

I feel as though I have never gotten rid of the exhaustion I felt when I got so overwhelmed I broke and begged for rest and grief counseling, yet got neither.
My therapist agrees that my challenges are constant and relentless and he
gets frustrated and at least we talk through whatever the flavor of the week is.
I have two other challenges taking place that I have not really shared here at PC either.

OE