TravelingLady,

Thank you so much for your honesty. I've been told it's highly unlikely she will ever seek treatment.

The saddest part in all of this is that all I really want from her is for her to say, "I'm sorry". That's all. No dramatic regrets or begging for forgiveness (from either of us - I'm not perfect either -- hard to believe, I know.....*grin*). Just a small acknowledgement of my (our) suffering....

I would love for her to seek treatment, but for her sake, not mine. After 10 years of dealing with this, I've finally reached the point where I think it's time to just accept things for the way they are, stop being so paranoid that she'll hurt someone I love, and deal with it appropriately if and when it happens.

And still my eyes fill with tears at the thought of accepting that none of this will ever change. Ever.

Thanks again everyone for all of your input and support. You have all made this easier for me to deal with this in a healthy way, something that, before I sought help professionally and otherwise, I was incapable of.

I have healed a great deal in the last decade. They say that acceptance is the final step in the grieving process.