Hello all of you, keeping you updated with my state of mind

Yesterday I had a bad day, like no feelings to my guy which I saw for lunch, felt sickness, anxiety and overall just feeling like sh**. I really feel guilt, how can one not feel anything towards the one that you love the most and who help you the most, yet their making you so irritable?

Then (amazingly) when I was going home from work in the evening I started to feel good, me again, after a week of no me at all. I was so happy to finally feel myself, I enjoyed the evening.

This morning, I woke up feeling all sad again and all like, I don't want to live. I am reminding myself that those moments of when I'm myself again are coming, before I had practicly none of them.

And now I am in doubt, I don't know what to do. I have my pdoc appointment in 3 weeks, but I'd really like to see her sooner. Cus I really thing I should increase my dose and take Abilify to go with Lamictal. I kindda doubt that this increase for 25mg will do me more good. Maybe I am being less sensitive, but my mood still changes. I do think I should try with 150 mg now, and don't have to wait for 3 weeks. The sooner I do something, the better.

I hope I'll get some advice from you. Thanks guys