I'm by no means a qualified mental health professional but from reading your post I immediately think postpartum depression or possibly postpartum psychosis. It also sounds like you are dealing with PTSD from your very scary experience. I hope this doesn't discouraged you in any way. I really hope you can get the strength to reach out. It has to be very scary to live that way.

When my daughter was 8 months old I was suffering from paranoia, mostly due to lack of sleep. It was so bad that the night before got my meds I was paralyzed with the fear that terrorists had hacked my cell phone.

I hope that you can get help and that you have a good support network. You can private message me anytime if you need a non judgmental, objective person to just listen to you