Welcome to PC!

It is not easy that most people do not know what we go through and it isolates us in a way. I can understand your frustration with this and also with the masks that we wear, the desire to keep it to yourself from only those that know and care about you, and especially keeping it from coworkers. However, even when family and friends know, they can be empathetic, but they can not sympathize because they do not know what it is like. They try to understand but can only know so much because they have not been through it. It is up to us to help them understand by reaching out to them so we do not feel so alone. Too, many places also have support groups in our areas that can help; it is just a matter of reaching out to find them.

There is nothing wrong with wanting more and it is so hard to find the right balance. It takes constant adjustment and staying in tune with ourselves. It sounds like you are really good at noticing this. If you feel that you are still weepy, sad, and depressed, contact your pdoc to let them know; they can help. Do not settle for less than trying to find the right balance for you.

Hang in there meanwhile!