Hello everyone!!

Well it has been a while since I was here. Mostly I have very low energy and don't feel like doing very much. It has been an eventful few weeks, a lot I would love to share with you and I hope I will find enough energy perhaps later today or tomorrow to write more.
I found the courage to ask for more help from my doctor so I have been able to get some treatments that I thought were not available for me any more and that has helped with a lot of things and helps me fight and even extends my life. I have better pain management now and a more structured care system.

It took quite a big wake up call to get to this stage and it was very painful but it helped me be more honest with myself and my situation. So I have good days and really really bad ones. On those days I wish I had more control over this and make my own decision when it's too much. But then again I realize that I also have this very strong will to live. That seems to be more powerful than everything. And having people here who I love very much was a huge boost as well.

I miss you all and I will try to be back very soon.

Much love,
Amelia

PS: I have to send a special *thank you* to Blur. You have saved me more than once. Thank you for never giving up on me.