Hi There,

I can relate to this posting 100% because I am in the exact same situation with my girlfriend. We've been together for 5 years but only just moved in together a year ago. She lost her job shortly after we moved in together and has since completely given up on looking for another one, and she has 'given up' on life in general. She does go to school part-time only because I really pushed her to do something with her life, but that's a very very small minority of her time, only two classes per week with a very light course load. She has no passion, no energy and makes no effort to improve herself. If I lost my job, I would have to hustle or else we would lose our place.

If I confront her about these issues, she knows that she has them, she says "I know, I have no motivation." or "You're right, I have no initiative" - almost as if she is proud of it. She refuses to get help, I don't think she sees it as a problem, or if she does, she doesn't want to do anything about it. If I talk about it too much, I become the "bad guy" because I'm spoiling the day by talking about boring adult-stuff.

I make enough to pay for the majority of things, but I really am repulsed by the idea that one person, regardless of gender, should pay for their sig-other to do nothing. It is a sign of character (to me) that people are motivated to do something with their lives, and not just be lazy and live off of other people.