maybe you can start with that first fear that you do fear not having therapy and him deciding not to see you, so maybe you can get some assurance of that not happening to help you get the courage to talk.

Maybe start with a sentence of something that is a small step... something that you wouldnt say ordinarily... but just a sentence. Then discipline yourself to do 2 sentences next time. Its helped me to also write emails and then talk in session.

Wishin you the best.

ev