hi takeaction
it sounds like you know your problem...anxiety,...and googling too much...I took an abnormal psych class and what you are talking about with the toughts of hurting others my teacher described as perfectly normal thoughts. he even used the knife example as an example in class...googling illness and making it your own is just part of yoru anxiety. if you could just stay off the internet you would stress yourself out much less. welcome to psych central. you will find we have several forums where you can post aobut your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome