**********TRIGGER warning - just in case (had to disclose this to ask the question)**********

As the title says.
I've been struggling hugely with trauma work and I got this homework: I have to find an episode that made my negative convintion start and one that proves it's not true. For example, i have this statement, "i am evil/bad". I couldn't find a good episode - even though there must be some, hopefully - but I know how it started. So i am going to have to disclose that I harmed a child my age when I was 9 in one of the worst and most painful days of my life (yes I know I am a monster and I will stay away from here if you want). And now I don't know, can't really stand the idea that T's perception of me might totally change. I do worry about that because I can't let someone who thinks bad of me help me and it breaks my heart the thought that I might have to leave just NOW. I feel like I don't deserve my T and that I will be a huge disappointment. Don't know what I wanted to ask, maybe I just wanted to reach out. I feel physically ill. Do you think T might dump me this time, if I say something like that?

(That child is fine! He's now a grown up like me and there's no permanent damage or anything. We actually became friends years later and he never knew what triggered me so much that day of his usually bully behaviour).