The age old excuse of cheaters is to direct the blame on the person they are supposed to be commited to. I'm sorry but if someone hurts you, doesn't live up to your expectations or otherwise does not give you a license or justification for cheating. It's the most common behavior with cheaters because they know from the get go that they are in the wrong and need this deflection of blame so that they can remain in denial that they are simply, dishonest, deceitful adulterors. NO one drives anyone to doing something wrong, you always have free will and choice to do the right thing or not.


The best path for her is to go it alone, the only way she'll know the consequences (friends being distant, losing support network) will she be able to really realize it's NOT ok. If people look the other way, support her adultery and double life, she will be enabled to continue doing it.

Glad you're seeing you should step away from this. I do agree not getting in her face or having standoffs with her, considering that you work together is a good idea.