I'm not sure why I was drawn to this forum to post this, as it could have gone into psychotherapy or depression more easily... but it's here I feel I need to put it. If someone can figure out why, feel free to post it

I'm frustrated a bit lately... and can't seem to break through what appears to be black and white thinking.... if I could, then I wouldn't be thinking that way?

Many say this thinking is what feeds depression.

My best has to be good enough: I can't do better. But my best really isn't getting the job done, and I must work on better. T says we don't stop doing what we know is right just because it isn't working... YET. I fall into sometimes wondering why keep doing the same thing with the same results.. isn't that stupidity? If not stupidity, it surely leads to frustration. Where is the grey area?

What's grey when you are between x and z and y is nowhere to be found? When for instance, a task that needs to be done but I can't get to it because other things in life interfere (i.e. dog poisioning) and the task, not having been done has now made a decision that is not changeable. What's the grey there? I had to do it, I didn't get it done, now I can't and I suffer the consequences. Just looks black and white to me.

That's the way life is... I try to ignore those things I don't get to do because I can't. But just today, as I just couldn't get to physical therapy nor to my psychologist's office for session, I realized as I moved about the house many things that were once on top of my list, that I never could get done, and are so low on the list now that they don't show up... things like the ice maker, and the car repair from the rear-ender I suffered in... December? and then there's the homeowners insurance policy changes... I have more important things like figuring out how to get the license tag back onto my car( worked on this for over 3 hours total in 2 days, and how to finally get fuel into the car (which I've been trying to for 5 days.)

I can't do it all. I can't complete all the things I need to get done to compete in life. To me, either it's done or it isn't... and the things that fall into the grey area are things still needing to be done ...forgotten, but not gone.