Even hindsight is not 20/20 at times especially when you are depressed.

I am glad you had the strength to tell you bf to leave. I hope you can stick with it.

I don't hate you. You made what seemed the right decision at the time, and probably was. When we make decisions, especially with the help of a doctor (as in your case) we have to take their advice into account. So to now try and take the entire decision upon your shoulders again, as to whether YOU did right or not, well, that isn't possible.

I think what's important is that back then you had all the facts, and you knew then that it was what you had to do, for your life. That's what you need to remember. Maybe you might have both died if you hadn't but then again, that's second guessing.

Don't worry about any baby! Sweetheart, God has all the children.