Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike_J
I have been divorced for almost a year, and have been seeing the same woman for even longer. And she had nothing to do with the divorce, we started dating while my divorce was going through it's long painful process.
The issue I have is my girlfriend hasn't met my 14 year old daughter yet. I told my girlfriend that it would be at least six months after my divorce until I would be ready to introduce them. My daughter does know that I'm seeing someone, and I have asked my daughter if she wants to meet her, and her response was "not quite yet"
My girlfriend is pressuring me a LOT on this issue, she doesn't like having to spend every other weekend alone, and not only wants to meet my daughter but wants to sleep over on nights when I have here.
I don't want to pressure my daughter on this, though I do see that I shouldn't let a 14 year old dictate my social life, but at the same time she didn't ask to be put in this situation so if I'm going to make a mistake it's going to be on being over protective of my daughter.
So do you guys think my girlfriend is right to be upset with me on this subject?
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She has the right to be upset but you are doign the right thing by making provision for your daughter's feelings. I also don't think that your daughter is dictating your social life at all. Your social life does not necessarily include bringing home the gf and involving the daughter. My point being keeping your social life separate is not a bad thing to do considering your daughter isn't even ready to meet her.
If you've explained this to your gf, she still has the right to be upset but she should be respectful about it and not push the issue. her attitude should be thinking of the needs of the minor too or at least understand your responsibility to her.
Try to handle it as delicately as possible, verbalizing to your gf how you understand why it might upset her but at the same time making her understand your stance on this, doing it gently, of course. I don't want to minimize how your gf feels here, becuase I do indeed get it. It would be frustrating not being able to be part of your life completely yet. So again... you're doing the right thing, but the key here is to make your gf understand without minimizing her feelings
Hope this helps.