I can live on normally like other people, yet other times I can't simply react or act in some situations. In these times, I just embarrass myself or regret the actions I make and wish I could've done something else.

For instance, I have a habit of zoning out and experience microsleeping. For some background info, I always think I got enough sleep, which I do (about 5.5 - 6 hours during the school year and 9 hours in the summer) but then later on the day a strain develops in my eyes and I feel tired. I have also had at least four head direct head injuries in my life: falling from the stairs when I was little, a car accident in which my head slammed against the car, and two years ago, I was swinging and accidentally let go, landing backwards on the border of our gate and some rocks. I also got hit by a bike when I walked out in the street because I was in a daze, my mom told me.

(( My parents always have fought a lot throughout my life to now, so I've been through a hell lot of very loud verbal fighting. It's nothing major, but I have to deal with this almost everyday... ))

Those were my total accidents in my life. Throughout my life, my mom fixed how I walked and how I sat because I always limped or sagged, as a result. I'm fine now, it's just my head now.

My parent say I always blank out a lot and how it interfere with how I interact with people. Here's an experience I'm pretty self-conscious about: my dad and I were at the DPS to pick up my permit last year. I was chill at this moment, no feelings or emotions. When we were called and automatically spewing answers to questions, he asked me to sign some blanks. I only signed one of them, but then suddenly I just stopped and handed him the paper. The man was a bit annoyed and began pointing by baby steps. I suddenly grew annoyed and signed them all. That was weird, so then I had to scan my thumbs on this device. I didn't realize there were two grips sticking out for one to hold so the thumbs could rest on the scanner. So I twisted my wrists to fit my thumbs on it. The man had to show me where to place my thumbs -_- I'm starting to think I won't do anything right...

These zone-out or clueless moments don't happen everyday, it just randomly happens, whether I'm at home or at parties or doing something important. There was another time when I was on my last drive time, and suddenly my thoughts were somewhere else. I tried to snap back to reality, but all I felt was the car speeding and the teacher beside me. Nothing happened, but we screeched to a halt at a red light. I snapped back totally awake.

My attention just likes to falter, I really hate this!! Any idea if this is normal or not? It's messing up my life, including driving on my own because my dad sometimes notes me that I don't always pay attention to the road. And I self-described myself with moderate depression because I know my behaviour, so does my depression contribute to any of this??