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Jun 12, 2014, 06:28 PM
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Member Since: May 2011
Location: nowhere
Posts: 807
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Dear Ambra...
You sure have gotten some really wonderful advice this afternoon...they are all very correct in that a 9 yr old does not have the maturity to always or even often ..lol...have the emotional and intellectual maturity to always make good choices...and your T is very aware of that.
Secondly, the definition of shame (per Brene Brown) and many others is that we DO something bad...but that does NOT MAKE US BAD. I still make bad choices, sometimes hurt people, sometimes do or say the wrong things, sometimes get angry unnecessarily or wreck my car or WHATEVER!!!!
Does that mean that I'm EVIL...?? Am I a BAD person??? Am I unforgiveable??? Would the church melt if I opened the door or would I corrode someone with my very disgusting inherent badness???
The answer is No. Do I feel evil and bad..yes, because I have a horrid view of myself and shame....
So I think the key point is that we all DO things badly or wrong....but the fact is you have a wonderful conscience, big heart, compassion, and a mature mind now that knows much better where the boundaries lie. NOONE and Especially not your loving and wonderful T is going to shame you or blame you or make you feel "less". That is you. I do a great job shaming myself too...you are not alone. lol  
Keep thinking...I hope you will work on that forgiveness (as your friend has obviously already forgiven you) and learn from your mistakes and try really hard not to make them again.
I think your T will be really impressed with how hard you are working in therapy and on becoming the best person that you can be...
Good luck and let us know what she says...
-WB
__________________
Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your heart.
Who looks outside, Dreams...
Who looks inside, Awakens...
- Carl Jung
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