One thing I've learned about myself is that I am actually rather strong and independent AND very broken at the same time. It is possible for both to exist at the same time. When we are feeling so broken on the inside, it is hard to see our own strength and resilience, even when it is clearly there.

I wonder if you tend to put on a front for your therapist due to the informal boundaries and relationship you have with her though. I wonder if you worry that she will only like you if you act a certain way. If that is the case, you two need to have a very honest talk about honesty and transparency and professional boundaries that will help you approach her as the professional she should be to you instead of the friend you want her to be. Something to consider.