Although my father is dead, he has had a hold on me for most of my life and I realised that did not stop with his death.

I realise that he is always "with me" and finally shared this with my T.

My T thinks we should look at that together - to let my dad "speak" to T, to stop him being in control of me - I understand logically why this may be useful for me, but that bit of me that is caught up with my father finds the whole thing terrifying. It feels like there is to be a battle between my father and my T and I will be stuck in the middle of it. I feel disloyal, that I can't abandon my father, that he will be angry with me for talking with T about him - maybe I am scared that he will abandon me.

It all seems so weird just writing it down, he's dead afterall, yet this issue does exist within me and feels so real.

Has anyone else experienced this?