Your story rings painfully true in my life as well. My last girlfriend finally broke up with me when she realized I just wasn't going to be very social at all. She wasn't a social butterfly herself, but almost anybody is better at it than me. I fear I will never have a relationship again and worse, if I do, that I'll just screw it up. It's easy to look back and WANT to do things differently. Honestly, though, if I had to live the exact situation over again, I don't know that I'd be capable of doing it differently. *sigh*