Hey Souper,
I've read this thread a number of times....it keeps sticking with me, so if you don't mind I'd like to just say that at times in your OR....you say words that imply you are your Dad's protector, mediator, abused daughter, daughter and parent, you're in his grip, and yet you want to "get rid" of him in your head...so very confusing the roles and responsibilities and rights...

Yet, you know your T is strong and safe and your roles are defined and he ONLY has YOUR best interest at heart. He wants you to be free to be the adult daughter and have the rights to set your own boundaries in this relationship with your Dad's memory. You have that right and the power within you to do just that...Things seem big because you were little when many of these memories were formed.

I have to say, I think I would want to sit next to T and allow him to "deal with" your father and help you set healthy boundaries of exactly how much influence he has over you.....I would have faith in your T to be there with you and lead you, and to "handle" your father. There is no reason to be "in the middle"...your T can deal with it all and keep you safe until you take your power and control that you need. Your safety is all that is important. You can do this...with your T.

I hope this makes some sense...
Gentle hugs,
Wysteria Blue