personally I am ashamed to make friends offline; embarrassed by what they may see in terms of my home life and my personal life and also ... just frightened about how they might choose to respond to it.

will they be extremely turned off or weirded out? will my brother make a fool out of me in front of them?

I feel that i cannot make frnds or form any type of real relationship until I get older and am more able to take control of my life.

pathetic? I think so, but past experiences and even recent experiences have made me have this frame of mind