Hi everyone. I don't post much, so I hope you don't mind me jumping in, but this is a subject I have strong views on, so here goes.
I strongly dispute the effects of childhood experiences as the cause of BPD or any other mental disorder. I am not a physiatrist, but speak from the real life experiences of bearing and raising 3 very different children. My BPD daughter (38) was my firstborn. A longed for, beautiful, intelligent baby girl who was and is loved and adored. My second-born is a boy (35) with Asperger’s Syndrome, equally loved. My third child, a girl, is a beautiful, clever and popular person (just married) who could confidently be referred to as ‘normal’. All the children have the same parentage. All the children had the same love and attention and experienced the same ups and downs, including some unsettling periods.
My eldest two children were always ‘difficult’ kids, but in different ways. At the time, I admit, I used to wonder if it was me as a parent, whether I was doing it all wrong. Was I being too strict, or was I too lenient? People all had their own opinions and solutions, but this was in the days when it was ALWAYS the parents fault (a bit like no bad dogs – just bad owners).
Childhood conditions such as ADAH etc were only in the early stages of being recognised.
I certainly don’t claim to be the perfect parent. All I know is that I loved (and love) my children very much, have always been there for them and would do anything to make each of them happy.
I’m not suggesting that childhood experiences, especially, I suspect, sexual abuse would not have a devastating effect on a person, but how does the ‘world of psychology’ explain the fact that many of these people go on to live productive, loving and empathetic lives using their experiences to ensure no child of theirs will ever suffer such a nightmare.
I am convinced that many, many hours in therapists offices are wasted by digging up and raking through old memories which they can then conveniently attribute to the patients problems. This then arms the patient with myriad reasons/excuses to carry on the way they are because ‘all of this has been done to me. I’m not responsible for my actions’. I agree that counselling for traumatic events and therapy for certain personality deficiencies is necessary and effective, but do not believe it possible to be effective with disorders such as BPD, unless it is also effective against illnesses such as Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s disease (hmm).
I suggest no-one trains for a career in psychology before producing 3/4 offspring with the same partner and watching them grow up. Granted, there would be scant few ‘professionals’ around.
Realistically, I would urge the huge revenue invested in the ‘therapy’ industry be targeted toward immediate and extensive research into brain function re personality disorders to establish true cause as a base to then exploring effective treatments.
These are my beliefs. I don’t have diplomas on the wall or a slick office with a leather couch, just 3 kids, 3 grandkids, and 61 years first-hand experience.