It was a shock to witness and have that result in PTSD. It is another shock to be trying to defend myself from a neighbor who intruded on me so badly that has so threatened
my sense of safety. I do not feel "safe" in the one place I created to be "safe". If I lose, it will only empower these "intrusive and disrespectful people".

I never imagined experiencing this kind of scenario, and developing this PTSD that magnifies my "sense of not being safe" either, and also as I try to function every day, having my brain struggle the way it does because everything I do is a reminder of the trauma. I literally "live" where all the trauma happened.

It is a challenge "every" day and I don't know what I am going to do about it tbh. I was hoping it would ease up. I try to keep going but my subconscious is so strong, it just kicks in
and I am very challenged. My arms hurt the worst they ache
so bad now the muscles ache and hurt to the touch. My upper back too. It literally feels like I get beaten up when I go out there, it's awful.

OE