hi whineandcheese,
how were things between you and your husband before you were pregnant with your second child? you say that he said something during your third month with baby that caused you to become distant? you don't have to say what it is, but it sounds like there is something specific that you and your husband can work on in counseling if you should choose to go that route.
i've never been in a relationship, so i'm the worse person for giving advice, but if there's ever a chance to work things out first, before going to something more drastic, like living separate lives, i would take your husband up on the offer for further counseling together. my sister is separated from her husband. he sees his four year old son maybe once a week on the weekends, and even though he's a happy boy, it's got to make him wonder if there's something he's done wrong. my sister and her husband split, however, because he has taken up a girlfriend. i probably would have kicked him out, too. having never been in a relationship, and not having seen their day to day interactions, it's difficult for me to say "they should have done this or that."
well, now i'm rambling! i hope all is well with you and your family. take care,
splash
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