What would happen if you told your T that you felt like it's all smoke and mirrors. First on your own part and therefore whatever any T responds back would also be a lie?
Tell your T that you feel as though you're not being honest (and perhaps don't know how to be) and therefore can't have any deep respect for positive assessments about your "progress"?
Personally, I'd see no shame that... in fact, profound respect.
See, I've realized in my own walk that I've lied quite a bit to myself... er, opted not to see what was plain to everyone else. But in that, I see that I lied to everyone else.
Now I don't mean to project what I'm dealing with on to you... but it does sound similar at first blush.
And I'm thoroughly ashamed of myself and don't know how to proceed... sorta'. I do believe that honesty is always the best policy.

Speak your mind and be yourself... change at your own pace.