I know i just posted ... but i just can't do this. It's all too much ... I miss my housemaster so much and i hate that i do, and it makes me feel even worse about my relationship with my mother ... I hate the fact that i feel so needy with my housemaster - whom i don't have a lot of contact with- and so detached from my mother who i need to be in contact with .... i just want to feel loved .. like i have a purpose ... and the only person who makes me feel that way is too far away, and the person who is trying to make me feel that way i push away. I dont make any sense ... why do i do this to myself?
... I keep thinking bad things, and i can't act on my thoughts ....