Hi, we should not have to get to the place of self-harm in order to be able to get help. It doesn't make sense. We are important and worth having our health needs met. I think it always boils down to money. If it costs too much money to treat people, the system creates huge hurdles to getting help and treatment. I am sort of in the same position right now. Its a downer, to get your hopes up that you'll get treatment and then not get it. Wish I could make it better for you.