Quote:
Originally Posted by healingme4me
I do see what you are saying. The borderline aspect, is in the thought process, as my intention. It's the all or nothing, emotions ruling the reaction thinking, the sense of abandonment and rejection, is where I am looking at your mentioned diagnosis.
If she makes an exception for you, does she not have to make an exception for any others?
Overcoming the hurt, and recognition of it not being personal, but business angled, is about overcoming that fight response, does it not?
You've written, if she has a signed contract, she'd continue to treat you?
According to Marsha Linehans CBT for Borderline Personality Disorder, she mentioned that vindictiveness is not part of the illness. I can quote the page, given time to breeze through it..
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Maybe I'm just an evil person then. Because when I feel wronged-really wronged/hurt, I lash out- just once. Swift and deep. I could really hurt her career. For me its always been a part of the BPD splitting-being good or bad, and if you're bad then I can do my worst. I'm more cognizant these days of when its happening so I can stop myself from doing it, but...
I think she has "stumbled" a bit along the way these past two years. Any report I make would be 100 percent truthful-and yet it would still be very likely to result in her suspension or revocation of her license. She told me when we started that borderlines make the most complaints against therapists, and there are all sorts of articles agreeing with that stance.
My favorite was, "youre one borderline away from losing your license."
Truer words never spoken. Treating a borderline is like playing with fire.
I would rather not fan the flames of bad feelings. If we end, we need to do so on amicable terms, or my wrath is going to (inevitably) bubble over. I want to try to explain this to her, but I'm afraid she's going to take it the wrong way.
I guess theres not a lot of ways to take, "if we don't end with no hard feelings I'm going to report you," though... :-X