Thanks HazelGirl. I'm not sure why you care about a total stranger enough to write them that you don't want them to hurt themselves, but I appreciate it. Not sure why ex-t could not have taken the 30 seconds to tell me something like that, but guess I don't want to accept that he is gone and does not care any more if I hurt myself or not. At least you do, or seem to, so thank you. I don't have a phone so I can't call anyone but posting here helps. Thank you for replying.