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Hang in there....it is really hard and it really hurts...
I totally get how much you want to learn and change and get this burden and pain off...
and how much you want to distract or pull anything out of your hat to not feel this...
I don't know if it might help you, but perhaps you could work on some lists of emotions..(search Wikipedia etc)...to help improve and define emotions and what they mean to you,
or do some journaling to help offload more of what is still stuck inside or email to T some more about the connections to family you were experiencing and becoming more aware of...
Just stay safe and self soothe and reward yourself for the hard work you have done and getting through some really tough days...
I'm just so sorry that you are hurting...know that we all understand and feel for you while you go through this...
Gentle hugs,
WB
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Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your heart.
Who looks outside, Dreams...
Who looks inside, Awakens...
- Carl Jung
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