I live with suicidal thoughts as well. I know the pain of it. Quite scary. Most people would not know how to respond to someone in crisis or calling out for help. Too many people would just say get over it or yell at you for thinking like that when they don't realize or understand it's not something we really choose in our lives. Happiness is a tough thing. Some people have it but I think most people have some form of a struggle in their lives. Those of us who struggle with the intense pain of wanting to exit this world have it the hardest. There's this inner fight to survive. People need to stop and listen to others. Everyone is so busy with their own lives that they forget about those they are the closest to. Plus we are all guilty of hiding our pain and troubles. It's hard to come out so to speak. It's a real challenge to find a compassionate ear. I don't have anyone I trust enough to share my darkest thoughts with. Not even family. Not even friends. Friends seem so distant. They have families and children of their own and careers and concerns. Hang in there. Know that you are not alone.