Sometimes you wish things would speed up. Sometimes you wish things would slow down. It's difficult, but it's best to remain in the present.

I am understanding that concept this week. Normally, I look to the future and see how much further I have to go and then I start the whole process of putting myself down. If I look to the past, all I see is pain and loss. But if I stop and look at where I am right this second, I realize that I'm okay. I still have my problems in life, but for this second, I'm safe. Sometimes the little things are a bigger step than the big things.

I'm sorry for your loss of your ex-T. Losing someone you felt close to isn't easy. Sometimes losing someone you don't like isn't easy either (I hated my last T, but was totally crushed when she terminated with me w/o telling me). It's the push/pull, the idealizing/devaluing that messes with relationships and your own head.

I can tell you this: at some point things will get better. Life is full of ups and downs, so at some point it has to get better (even if a little).

Hang in there, and do talk to your new T about how you're feeling. Maybe he can give you more coping skills to help you through this.