Ok first thing you have to look at. Are you and your boyfriend serious enough to have a house together? You say a couple of times that you need your own place but it is hard due to your ocd....well what about your parents? A friend/relative? What about a boarding house? I dont have OCD...and thank God i dont...i do understand though about watery eyes and excessive yawning..in fact right now im yawning and my eyes are tearing....i go around all the time looking like im crying or sick...because of so many tears...i dont know how you handle not touching your tears...its sooo hard....i think you should...even if you have to drag him...to a meeting with your T or whoever knows you and talks to you. I also think if he hears a professional tell him what is up it might seem more "real" to him. You know...tell him now...before you go...so what if he gets angry or upset....I SI (self injure) and my boyfriend doesnt understand all the time as well.....we got into a discussion earlier...he said i should just turn it off like a light switch...and thats like me telling you to turn your OCD off like a lightswitch..impossible...remember though you arent a burden ...are you sure you and your psych are positive that you should go off your medication? Is that really the wisest idea? The flareup might be due to anxiety over issues changing in your life...like the house...the health concerns....im not saying its due to your med decrease...im saying it could be due to all the possible changes in your life at the moment. I am not a professional at all but it seems your OCD is in need of medical attention...sweety you need to either find a new psych if this one isnt helping you or maybe express concerns over your status...they cant read your mind ....you have to speak up..i know your worried about what they say...but you have to tell someone not automatically expect what people will say...i know your scared but you are running around in circles and you need to slow down and talk to your psych...breathe relax and give your psych the burden...talk to your bf ....and come to realizations of the changes in your life..the expectations and the responsiblites..good luck sweety We all know you can do it your strong and if you can deal with your OCD then you can do this. Sorry i talked forever..im overly tired.
love, Inny