Morning all.

Well, slept relatively well... but anxiety and misery has started to kick back in Crisis team guy has called saying he'll be round this morning... kind of dreading it. Feel like such an idiot for yesterday and right now as I just feel like I'm wasting peoples time... I know others will disagree... but yeah, I hate and admonish myself when I slip like this.

Tried to do a general declutter in the living room... but the house is a tip and I'm ashamed. Things have really been let go when it comes to tidying + with the rat issue... hating myself and the house right now.... have air freshened the front room to the point of their being a blinding mist heh.

Wife has gone out for the day (gardners world)... she was worried and said she wouldn't go but I said that she shouldn't worry, I'll be fine... + I didn't want her to waste the money she's paid for the tickets nor ruin what she's been looking forward to.

Last night, she had a friend round while I was at the hospital (someone she really trusts, very steady and someone she can rely on when things are bad)... In turn she (the friend) has taken the dog for weekend as they were both concerned that with the rat(s) and my current state of mind, it wouldn't be great leaving her at home.

Another awkward thing last night... ambulance and me getting into it... well yeah, neighbours are nosy (keeping up with the Jones's much) and were at the window watching. Had asked wife what had happened and she told a white lie... but yeah, awkward... my problems on display... not particularly pleased.

Received letter this morning saying that my referral to see a psychiatrist has been accepted and that I'm to call to arrange an appointment.