And you capture the problem right there. I could never hate anyone as much as I hate myself.

There are times where I catch myself thinking if someone is going to be so desperately pathetic asI was then I deserved everything that was thrown at me. Of course I would never say that to/ about someone else.

I just can't figure out why I am so hard myself. I can't even really pinpoint anything that I really hate about myself. I just do.

Of course I know all this on a logical level but it's like my emotions are sitting there with their fingers in their ears screaming "nope!"