I know I'm bit late posting on this but I couldn't help but post to your situation. I have been through something very similar, although we were married for a much shorter times and had no kids, thank god! I was with him for almost 3 years before we married. About 6 months later into our marriage he wanted a divorce. At the time we were both long distance, which obviously didn't help. He was in Vancouver, BC and I was in the Midwest, US. He completely cut me off, wasn't open to counselling, ignored my emails, wouldn't call me. There were some problems in our relationship but we were so in love, it blinded us. I couldn't believe that a person that was supposed to be so madly in love with me could just cut me off like that with no valid explanation and it was not even up for discussion. I decided that I was worth better than this asshole who obviously lied to and manipulated me. I focused on furthering my education, starting working on new projects that I would have never done with him around. Got a social life. I have tons of friends now to go out with. With him, I talked to no one and no one ever called me. Believe me, at times, my heart stll yearns for him but another side of me believes it is the best thing that happened me. I have finally found myself. And you can too!!