Hi Aggurl92,

Welcome to PC!

I can't really offer much since most of us here are on medication and in therapy. I am so sorry to hear about your first therapist's experience. I had that kind of experience too, which made me doubtful of anyone. I took a blind leap of faith and started trusting my current therapist.. and she has brought me this far.

Have you tried reconditioning? There's many reconditioning methods out there to help with insomnia i.e. do not do work in bed etc. Have you ever done CBT before? Centre for Clinical Interventions (CCI) - Psychotherapy, Research, Training you could try it out yourself to see whether it works for you. However, CBT is best when it's done with a therapist.

If you need a book that you can relate to about your depression, my favourite would be this: Journeys with the Black Dog - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Keep posting here, if you want to. We're always here to help and support you

However, with that said, we are not professionals. So if you feel that you're ready, please.. do reach out.