Well higher scores actually make me feel worse...hahaha seeing a low score and being told that I'm just going through a little difficulty but otherwise doing fine, it pisses me off and reminds me of everyone not taking my words seriously just because I look okay???

I know a lower score is something good, but it just makes me feel lousy. I can't get a high score in anything.

I guess that's my low self esteem in effect. Hahaha

But well, my therapist and I went through things like self esteem and perfectionism but it's not making me feel any better. I've always been this way, after all.