I'm usually against therapy. Because it's simply not something for me and I've tried. It's so hard, I don't know what to do. My dad was the most important person in my life. And it feels like it was all my fault that he died, because we were both depressed at the same time and I wanted to be there for him and help him, but at one point I couldn't deal with it anymore so I left him all alone. And then he tried to call me but I never answered. And then he died. Maybe he would have been alive if I would have taken care if him.