thanks celtic. i've been trying the self-talk, and making little tasks for myself to put off the self-harm. I'm re-reading my list, including the shameful stuff. I'm not quite sure how to get some of that stuff in alternate ways. I've got music plugged into one ear at all times - I am trying to find something that releases the emotion. I'm coming to the end of my coping skill repertoire at the same time that my drive to remain sh-free is also waning. my T had left me an encouraging message recently so I have also been trying to listen to that periodically throughout the day. I've managed to stave it off so far... not sure I have anything to say if I bothered the crisis line again... :deep breath: I need to do this for other people though (they are very uncomfortable with the self-harm).