I use to get tangled in the black and white and not understanding where gray (my preferred spelling :-) was until I started to think along the lines of "perception". We only perceive that things are black and white at the moment, they "obviously" aren't really or everyone would see things the way we do? When I can't see things the way I "want" I either try "forcing" a perception change (have you ever climbed up on top of your bedroom dresser to think about Life? :-) or "borrowing" T's or my husband's perception and working toward seeing things "that" way. I use to not understand or agree with some of the things my T would say so I just assumed I wasn't ready yet and that I would see/understand them eventually and, lo and behold, a few hours, days, months later I'd have an "ah ha!" reaction and there it would be.

Five+ years ago my husband told me I didn't have an "I don't know" bucket LOL. I have to know the answer right away, can't be in doubt! It's heck when you're working through something and literally can't know the "answer" yet because you haven't gotten that far. So, I've been trying to remember that and work with that whenever I get anxious because I don't know something (or when I get to knowing "everything" when I don't actually :-) I love my husband when he tells me about myself becuase he is concrete enough for me to grab his ideas and use them to help myself. When I get anxious my speech gets tangled and my husband will say, "I don't hear any nouns" :-) and I'll know to stop, think about what I want to communicate, and then try again slower. When you can't imagine where you're "supposed" to get to, ask someone you trust and who you feel understands and then look at things from their point of view until you can see it too. It's like when you point to something you want someone to see? Kind of like pointing at a particular star or spot on the ocean where the dolphins are leaping? :-) The other people come over to where you are and sight down your arm to see if they can see what you're seeing?