> Okay, I feel the need for some clarification/elaboration.

Thanks. That helped.

I have similar issues if it helps any. Got involved with a church leader when I was 14 and a church / camp leader a bit later that year (both were married) and then had a lesbian relationship with my High School english teacher when I was 16 that lasted about 4 years. Then wanted to find out what was right for me which mostly involved sleeping around a little... After a while I realised... I don't feel anything for my peers (with respect to sexual attraction) but if someone is around 15 years older and preferably in some kind of position of authority... And worse still it only seems to be that I can be physically intimate with either strangers (because I'm fairly emotionally uninvolved and don't particularly care what they think of me) or because I'm in the grip of some kind of transference response.

And if I actually find someone attractive in a potential for serious relationship kind of way I avoid them and stuff so they think I don't like them because I can't stand for them to be close.

So. Anyone have any idea why it is that I don't particularly want to talk about my sexual issues with my therapist?

Even though sex is of course natural and beautiful and all that...

My issues certainly don't feel that way that is true. Sigh.

I am thinking that your issues around intimacy with your husband might well be exactly that: issues around intimacy. When it comes to strangers and / or people you are having a transference response to I guess it isn't really a meeting of two people. I don't really see them and they don't really see me. Whereas in the context of an intimate committed relationship... It can get a bit scary.

Fear of merger / losing ones identity in another / loss of self?

Maybe?

(I've read some paper from somewhere off the internet that was about hyper-sexuality and hypo-sexuality. That often people who have trouble with one e.g., being hyper-sexual in casual relationships tend to have the complimentary problem of being hypo-sexual in deeply intimate relationships. Might be worth a dig... I'll see if I can find it)...

http://72.14.253.104/search?q=cache:...ient=firefox-a