Quote:
Originally Posted by Onward2wards
I want to go beyond self-esteem, or assertiveness, or self-confidence for a minute. I need to talk about self-concept, literally who do you think you are.
I realize that a lot of the negative assumptions I make and the self-defeating behaviors and anxieties I experience, are due to a negative self-concept. I think "am I the kind of person who <insert ability to get a need met here>", "does <desired kind of event> happen to the kind of person I am?" and all too often the disturbing answer I get from deep inside is "no, sucks to be you". This IS depressing and this DOES generate situational anxiety! I don't fully grasp how to change this, but it's critical to me that I DO change this.
Does anybody have any ideas about how this can be best accomplished? I've tried a few things but I'm still not there yet.
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Hello Onward: I have this kind of negative self-talk going on all of the time too. I think many, maybe most, people who struggle with depression and / or anxiety do. There are many different techniques out there. Of course, there's positive affirmations, distracting yourself by doing something such as exercising or engaging in a hobby, & other stuff.
Personally I prefer the technique taught by the Buddhist nun Pema Chodron. Pema has written books about this. So I couldn't possibly go into it all here. But, in the proverbial nutshell, what it entails is allowing yourself to be with the negative thought, acknowledging it, being gentle with it, & then allowing it to fade away at it's own pace. In other words, rather than to fight it, distract yourself from it, or forcibly replace it with something else, we allow it to come forth, we sit calmly with it & allow it to drift away like a cloud when it is ready.
