You're not alone. I know I'm just behind a screen but I do care about you because I know that feeling of isolation and sadness and I'm with you. I'm not suicidal but I know how desperate a mental illness can make you feel. You just want to find a way out of this hole but suicide is not the answer. You might make things better for yourself but it will only make things worse for your family, especially your kids who are just starting their life. They would not be better off WITHOUT you, they would be better off WITH you. Let your kids be your reason and your purpose in life for now. I've been feeling very depressed and anxious for some time now and I've been miserable day after day for a month and today I read something that gave me hope and I've been feeling okay for several hours because I know it can get better. Stay hopeful and stay positive and hopefully soon you'll feel better soon. I know therapy isn't an option because of you can't afford it and your husband isn't willing to pay but keep posting here and keep talking to us. I saw someone else post a video of this therapist who posts videos on YouTube and I watched some of her videos and they do help a little, her name is Kati Morton, look her up. You can also read articles and stuff online. Just keep trying. I care about you and wish you the best!

Also, your husband sounds very selfish and ignorant when it comes to your mental health. I don't agree with depressedalaskan about "men do need sex, if you can give him a little" I don't think you should give him a little when he can't try to make an effort to give you a little support. Sounds very vindictive but it just makes me angry that women always have to put men's needs before their's. I do agree that you guys have to have a serious talk about this. I hope he realizes how bad you're hurting and shows a little support. Good luck!

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