I can't say exactly strong enough, because that's what started freaking me out yesterday.

I keep going back to this - I can't quite call it a fight, as the yelling was one sided - thing between my mother and I in January, trying to figure out why I was reliving it on a daily basis.

Yesterday I realized that for me, that was it, nothing was safe with her any longer. That I can't trust her to keep an interaction safe, and that I have to avoid giving her anything she might turn against me.

It's quite a shattering experience.

Becca