Hi ThisWayOut, it's OK......it didn't fail at all!! You held out so much longer than you would have if you hadn't tried as hard as you did.
You held out as long as you could before the need took over. So for the time you held out........be proud!!! You now know you have so much strength in you to have lasted as long as you did. Every day/hour/minute counts!!!
And now back to the things that did help you get this far............maybe focus a little more on them? Switch them around in the order you're using them? Look at what else you can add to your "arsenal"? Ask someone else to help you with some of them where you can? Talk a little more to people?
And as for not wanting to bother the crisis line.......well you phone them as much as you need to...........if you need help you need help.............and how can it be a bother for them to be doing what they're there for. A lot of the people are going to be there on the end of the phone for the very reason of wanting to help.
So now, what do you say you focus on how well you have done and focus on maybe this/next time going for that little bit longer if you can???? You know you've had so much strength to come this far afterall, right???!!!
And if you're finding things hard, you know that we're right here for you too.
Alison