I wish to figure this out for my situation also.. With my ex-t, I wanted a countertransference situation - still do - really, but in a safe way. As much as I want him to feel that way towards me, it would probably feel terrifying if he acted on it. Maybe I like that feeling though, just a little bit. Like being an adrenaline junky or something, because it makes me feel more alive.

Either that or it would complete a pattern for me by making a safe situation/person unsafe.

Something like that anyways...